Journal #1: if I were to describe the color red to a blind man, I would explain the symbolism behind the color, seeing that the color itself is indescribable.  I would start of by telling him that red can represent love or anger and that it is the color of his blood.  I would continue to say that the color red is a color with much passion and that it is a popular color.  Red can represent the evil forces that surrounds us and red is the color of the flames from hell.

Journal #2:  Competition works in making us want to do better in anything, whether it be school, sports, or games.  Competition is necessary in order to evolve and become better.  Although, there must be a line drawn where competition becomes unhealthy.  With a healthy competition, one plays to the best of his ability, trying to overcome his opponent and if he cannot, then the competitor aspires to do better for next time.  Usually, after the end of a game or something competitive, it is respectful to shake hands to show that all is well.  When it comes to unhealthy competitors, such as me, the two will do whatever it takes to win.  Whether it would be sabotage, cheating, or resorting to violence.  For example, when I played smackdown v raw with my uncle one day, I thought I was going to beat him but he ended up beating me.  As a result, I resorted to violence and drop kicked him against the wall.  At that point, I felt that I had won because my opponent was down.  Or now a days, when I play call of duty, I tend to over kill all my opponents simply for the fun of it.

Journal #3:  something that I have learned in the classroom and integrated into my non academic life is my knowledge of the placebo effect.  Once, I was at my grandmother’s house with all of my family and friends.  As we were eating at the dinner table, my three year old cousin was complaining that her foot was hurting.  Knowing the basic concept of the placebo effect, I gave her a smarties candy, knowing that she would not recognize it.  I told her that if she ate it, her pain would go away.  Surely enough, she took it and about a half an hour later, her pain went away.  I explained to my uncle the concept of the placebo effect and he was so surprised to see its affects.  At that moment, I felt like I was the smartest child in the world, knowing that I had used something that I learned in school and applied it to my life.

Journal #4:  If I had the ability to travel back in time and be whomever I wanted to be, I would elect to be the undertaker from the world wrestling federation during the 1990’s, when he was at his best performance level.  I have chosen this man because since the first time I saw him, he became my one and only idol.  I remember I wanted to be a professional wrestler during 5^th grade.  To this day, I still dream of it, and for that dream to become a reality would be amazing.  Since I would be him makes even better.  To be a seven foot monster who dominates everybody would fill my heart with joy.  I chose this person because he is like me.  He surrounds himself with darkness and speaks with a cynical tone.  His thoughts can be as sadistic as mine but the only difference is that he is allowed to show it, while I maintain it in my thoughts.  If you do not view this person as a part of history, then let me inform you that he is in the WWE hall of fame and therefore is a historical figure.  I would choose to be no other than him.  His legacy has made him one of the world’s best athletes and I admire him for that.

Journal #5:  If I were given the responsibility of deciding where 1 million dollars would go to in order to improve whatever necessary, I would send the money to Haiti.  Their economy is terrible and they have not yet recuperated from their last earthquake.  I would use the money to construct stronger buildings in case of any more attacks.  I would also use the money to provide food and fresh water to everybody.  Seeing that one million dollars won’t get far in helping with the recovery of the earthquake.  Those are the only two projects that I would choose in order to help with a global issue.  It is our duty to help those who need it the most, because we must set the example for other countries.  My second choice would be to use the money to help with the radioactive spill in Japan.  This is an issue that affects the whole world.  The fishing industry is very important in our economy and we cannot stand by and let our foods be infected with radioactive gunk.   Those two issues are of grave concern to me and that is why I choose to assist in resolving them.  We must show our unity in these troubled times and surpass them however we can.

Journal #6:  My attempts to change an area of local concern are through ocean force, which focuses on the trash that dumps into the ocean and ends up as what fish see as food.  So far, I have volunteered twice with this organization in an attempt to make a difference in my society.   Being a surfer, I found this issue really disturbing to me so during my first session with the ocean force foundation, I worked through the day picking up as much trash as I could.  If I remember correctly, I took out three tires and half a sofa from the Tijuana river valley.  As a group, we could really notice that we had made a difference for the animals living around the area.  My second time, we went to Imperial Beach and picked up any small plastics that we could find.  We did a great job cleaning up and had a marvelous time.  That is how I have taken action to make change in an issue of local significance.

Journal #7:  If I could introduce an idea to a primitive culture, I would choose to introduce them to democracy.  Seeing that it’s a primitive culture, it can be inferred that they would have no government system to follow.  In my opinion, I think democracy is the best form of government, so therefore I would teach them that.  Once that culture establishes a form of government, it will be easier to become a much more civilized culture.  From there on, they may choose to modify their government and evolve from there.  I believe that is what is needed in order to have a successful culture

Journal #8:  If I were forced to choose a quote that describes me best, I would choose a quote from the bible.  I don’t know the exact words but it goes something like this, “As I walk into the valley of the shadow of the dead, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me.”  To me, that quote means that despite the wickedness that I face, I will not fear because I am protected by God.  Yet, I purposely surround myself  with evil forces.  Is it that I just seek some message from God, in order to make me believe, or is this my true nature.  I embrace the dark forces without the protection of God and nothing happens.  Maybe I am not harmed because I myself am a dark force.  How this quote relates to me is how I have connected with evil.  Not with fear but with rejoice and acceptance.  Of the few quotes that I have knowledge of, this quote is what relates closest to me, though it does not describe me well.  I don’t believe there is a quote to describe one individual alone, especially in my case, since I am a very peculiar child.

Journal #9:  Given the authority to establish a holiday, I would choose to commemorate Michael Jackson on the day of his death.  The celebration would be for all the music he created and to remember his legacy.  The festival would take place in LA Beach and include karaoke, high school bands performing his songs, Michael Jackson wigs and outfits and many other festival like attractions.  The festival will also have a BBQ and will conclude with a fireworks show. 

Journal #10:  The best advice that I have received was from my deceased uncle Trino.  He told me that if you live your life in fear, then you’re better off dead.  He told me this right before he died of age.  From what my parents told me, he was a stunt man for Mexican movies.  To this day, I keep that advice in my head, and it has helped me with my fears and doubts.  In my mind, I think what he said to me was true.  What’s the point of living, if you’re going to live in fear?  I do find that living with no fear at all can also be dangerous.  Fear is what keeps us from doing stupidities.  I would say that the best advice I’ve gotten is to not procrastinate but the advice is irrelevant if you do not learn from it.  I learned from my uncle’s advice and applied it to my life.  I only fear failure and death now.

Journal #11:  The one question that I think colleges should ask is to describe yourself in terms of personality.  I think it is an important question to ask so that they know what kinds of students they have in their campus.  I would respond by saying that I am a diligent worker that enjoys helping his peers and his community.  I would also add that I am very religious so I am careful with my actions.  I enjoy hanging out with friends and doing sports.  Of course, this would be a complete lie.  All that I am saying is what the colleges want to hear.

Journal #12:  There’s a woman in a hospital, screaming with agony as she is giving birth.  Her face is red with exhaustion and a man stands in the corner with a worried look on his face.  Worried that his son might die after birth.  A nurse takes out a new born child from the woman, but with no yell and no life.  A dead child.  The doctors take the child away as the parents break down in tears.  The doctors revive the child only to lose him again.  He revives once more, with his skin pale as Edward Collin’s and yet no cries that broke out of him.  A year passes and he is taken to get baptized at a local church.  There, he cried for the first time, with ferocity unmatched by any other child.  As the child grows, the parents can’t help but notice that he is rather unusual.  Constant nightmares, ghostly friends, surrounding himself with snakes instead of dogs, and his hatred for friendship.  Indeed, this child is very strange, but very smart and talented.  His passion for drawing led to a dark path as he began to draw horrific monsters.  The child is sent to one year of counseling, though they find nothing wrong with the boy.  He returns slightly changed by his counseling.  One day, the child is in his room, talking to one of his ghostly friends and he is over heard by the parents.  They break out into a great fight as the child sits in the corner of his room, crying and listening to the screams.  He cannot help but hear the discussion of divorce and the child snaps.  With his sadness turned into rage, he storms out of the room and yells at them to stop with such rage in his voice.  All the lights start to turn on and off and the parents stare at him with a look of fear, unaware that it wasn’t him turning off the lights.  It was the boy’s only friend in the world.  A dead girl, who saw something great within his soul.  After that event, the parents stop fighting for a while and the boy never saw that girl again.  To this day, he thinks of her.  Wondering if he’ll ever see her again.

Journal #13:  Dear roommate,

          I look forward to meeting you this next school year and I am hoping that we can become good acquaintances through our years in college.  Let me start off by saying that my name is Josh, and I’m from San Diego CA.  I am in marching band and I’m slightly addicted to video games on the PS3, so if you enjoy video games as well, we could maybe play some nights.  I must warn you that I do snore and talk in my sleep every time I have nightmares.  You might find that my ideals are quite different.  Just so you know, I practice Santeria so you might catch me doing some unusual things.  As much as I look forward to meeting you, I must establish some rules.  Please refrain from grabbing my pillow at any time.  I welcome you to set me up on a double date if I receive a payment of fifty dollars.  That is all that I have to say as far as rules go so until we meet in our college dorm, good bye.

Sincerely,

Joshua Castillo

Journal #14:  When I read the quote, “He does not possess wealth, it possesses him,” what immediately comes to my mind is that once someone attains a certain level of wealth, the power they feel begins to change them.  I know this because it has happens to me every time I am in control of large amounts of money.  At that point I feel like I’m on top of the world.  To have millions of dollars would indeed drive me to be controlled by my wealth.  This quote is saying that people are greedy pigs that only care for themselves and no others.  I believe that it takes a strong man to maintain his humane personality while still having tons of money.  I clearly remember receiving a tarot card reading and my tarot said to beware of abuse of power and money.  I believe that I cannot be entrusted with large sums of money without losing what little sense of humanity I have left.  As I asked in my previous TOK presentation, can people be trusted with power? In my case, the answer is no.  We all have a breaking point in which the money and other luxuries we possess start to overwhelm us and destroy us.  Then again, of all the millionaires and billionaires that I know of, they all seem to be very generous in giving scholarships or donations.  But as I said before, we only look out for ourselves.  Maybe they only seek good publicity from the media.  From what I’ve seen, this view of humanity is not cynical, but realistic.  I see very few people that willingly help their community.  So why would these types of people help the community without seeking some sort of compensation?

Journal #15:  The greatest contribution I could make to a college campus is my intellect and my musical abilities.  Since my years in elementary school, I have been a highly intellectual child.  I would most likely contribute to raising test scores by offering tutoring to those who need it the most.  I will most likely take an internship at college so I may contribute in that way.  My second contribution that I can make to a college campus is my musical talent.  I can play the trombone, baritone, and tuba at an advanced level,  allowing me to fulfill any spots needed in the college band or helping to improve other players’ skills.  I also have a title of leadership in my band so I may provide some leadership for the low brass section.  I am not a stand out student that does everything to help those around them, this is all I offer to a college campus.

Journal #16:  One of my most significant experiences in my life that I’ve had was when I went sky diving for my sixteenth birthday.  This event is important to me because it almost obliterated all of my fears.  Once I got on the plane, I couldn’t stop shacking until my instructor told me it was time to jump.  Since I was under aged, I had to jump strapped to my instructor.  The worst part was when he jumped because he did it so quickly.  The first few seconds were absolute terror.  Then, I sealed my eyes and just felt like I was flying.  Never have I felt at peace except for those few minutes, until I heard the instructor yell profanities and saying that the parachute would not open.  At that point, I felt the reality of the situation and my first response was to start praying.  I was praying for forgiveness of all my sins and hoping that I would be spared from death.  Then I hear the instructor say, “I got you didn’t I?”  He pulled the shoot and we started floating down to the ground.  At that point, I felt like killing him for doing that, but at the same time I was grateful that he did that because never did I feel more alive than when I was closest to death.  So close in fact that I could envision him falling down with us.  After that day, a great number of my fears went away, and I decided to do my first communion so I could confess.  This experience has greatly changed my view of life for the time being.  I will soon return to being a cynical and sadistic child that I was before.  Regardless, this experience was tremendous for me and I would definitely do it again if it means attaining peace of mind.

Journal #17:  What has struck my mind lately is the status of the economy.  Knowing how bad it is, I can’t help but wonder what will become of my grandmother if she is not able to pay for her medication, seeing how the recent health care bill will not take effect until at least 2013.  I also wonder what will become of me once I graduate from college.  Whether there will be any jobs available for my profession.  As of late, my parents have considered moving back to TJ due to the economy, which would devastate me to be forced to leave and attend a school in TJ.  In the past, I dreamed of being a successful and powerful man.  But now, my dreams are difficult to see as a possibility.  I have noticed a growing number of homeless people as I drive along the freeway, with most of them saying that they are out of work.  So every day I say to myself that I will not end up like one of those people, because my only fear in this world is to fail.  I would sooner kill myself before failing miserably.   I see my mom and dad working to attain better positions in the work place so that I may continue to study here and be successful in life.  I cannot see the economy recovering any time soon, so we must learn to live with the fact that we are spiraling down.  But as my nephew says, we must look at the bright side of things.  I must guess that the bright side is that when I’m grown, houses will be a lot cheaper to buy, which saves money for other material things that I have always dreamt of like a luxury car with a “Fast and Furious,” type of look.  With the job I plan on getting, it could be a possibility.

Journal #18: If I were given the power to change two things about our high school campus, I would change the dress code and the lunches that we receive.  The reason I chose the dress code is because we recently had an assembly that regarded the dress code.  As the assistant principals presented their reasoning for enforcing the dress code, I could not help but think that their reasoning was ridiculous.  They believe that for wearing logoed hats, there’s a possibility of being attacked.  Does that mean that for wearing red, we are part of the bloods?  I would allow students to dress as they wish, with the faith that no violence will arise without a strict dress code.  My secondary change is the lunch system in our campus.  The lunch ladies force the students to choose from a minimum of three items during nutrition break and four for lunch time.  From what I see, many people throw away half of the food that they get without even opening it.  I would let the students take the food that they know they will eat and save what is left over for the next day, saving the school some much needed money.  What I would also change about the lunch system is how the food is distributed to the students.  Back in the 1990’s, schools would place food on a tray and then wash it once the students were finished.  Today, we use a small cardboard tray that is tossed away and sent to a dump.  And the next day, the school spends more money buying these small trays.  All my intentions for this issue is purely to save the school money.

Journal #19: I beleive that school attendance should be mandatory for all students. The purpose of attaining an education is to prepare the students for the real world, and to provide students with the knowledge they'll need for their future jobs, no matter what it would be. If attending school would be an option for students, they will most likely be absent for half of the school year. The masses would be gravely uneducated, creating a need for unskilled labor such as working at a fast food restraunt. Most famalies would fall into poverty and minimum wage jobs would become a standard for living, causing students to attend school less. What i believe would happen next is an increase in crime as society becomes more desperate for money and eventually become a third world country.

 Journal 20: If i were given the ability to communicate with any animal, I would choose to talk to birds.  My reasoning behind this choice is that I have a desire to be surrounded by these creatures.  The birds that i am most interested with are those that represent the darkness and evil.  I would focus on communicating more with crows, vultures, owls, and the condors.  I have always surrounded myself with darkness as I grew because it brought joy to me.  To be able to befriend any of these birds would be great.  What i would do is have most likely a crow rest on my shoulder during the day in order to give out a sense of evil.  People ask wether it is better to be loved or feared.  I personally, choose to be feared by others.  Another of my reasons for choosing these animals is because i once had a dream, in which i controlled a flock of crows and vultures and blocked managed to black out the sun.  I think it would be great to accomplish this dream.  It is believed that the eyes of an owl have the ability to hypnotize people.  I would use these animals to assist me in hypnotizing my enemies.

Journal Responses